I'm sitting here in a hospital room listening to the equipment whoosh and click,  My mom is probably paralyzed.  The doctor was here a little a while ago and said it was probably a spinal cord stroke.  It is very rare.  That explains why she can not move or feel her legs.  He is really hoping that her left leg will regain some function, but is not sure.   Her right leg will probably never be used again.  When she got to the hospital on Friday, it was not functioning.  He has little hope it will come back. The amount of swelling in her spine is unusual.  We have to watch it closely to see if it gets worse.

How is this all real? Will my mom be in a wheelchair? Will my mom be otherwise healthy? Could this stroke happen again?  Will we need a ramp for the house? Can she stay in her house? What are bedsores? How much does a visiting nurse cost? How will I split my time between visiting my mom and seeing my kids? How will my kids handle this?

I have never been so overwhelmed with uncertainties.  I feel like I am blanking so much out and not feeling anything.  My arms felt all tingly and numb as the doctor was talking.  I am emotionally and physically not feeling things.